Oh, Poor Rory
by RunawayTelephones
Summary: I was in the mood for beating up Rory. I do really like his character, but his character is fun to harass.
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Doctor, let's play rock-paper-scissors," Rory suggested. The Doctor shrugged.

"Sure, why not?" the Doctor agreed. He pulled out 2 rocks, 2 pieces of paper, and to pairs of scissors. Rory looked at him oddly but took one set of each. Amy stood between the two as the mediator.

"Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!" Amy yelled. At that, Rory started to pull out a piece of paper from behind his back. But the Doctor threw a rock at Rory's head. He collapsed to the ground, out cold.

"Did I win?" the Doctor asked. Amy was speechless.

"That's a fun game! I wanna play again!" the Doctor exclaimed with glee.

**A/N: In this case, rock beats paper. Take that.**

"Alright, and here we are! This is an exact recreation of Pompeii. It erupts every day at the same time so that scientists can study the effects and test ways to keep people safe in further eruptions. Wanna go see?" the Doctor said. He opened the door to the TARDIS.

Rory stepped out first and fell straight into the center of the volcano.

"Well… that's a shame. I'm sure he'll be fine," the Doctor sighed. Amy stared at him in shock.

"Fine? He just fell into a volcano!" Amy yelled.

"He's been through worse," the Doctor pointed out. Amy couldn't argue- he'd died before. It never seemed to be permanent.

**A/N: Because Rory dies altogether too many times for it to be at all conceivable.**

The Doctor and Rory had been arguing about something that Amy didn't care about. Something about sports and which was best or something while sailing on a ship.

"Alright, there's only one way to settle this… a sword match!" the Doctor propositioned. Rory could not think of a better way, so he picked up one of the two swords that happened to be lying on the ground for no apparent reason.

He cut his hand on the blade picking it up and developed a black spot on his palm. Unfortunately, a siren came for him and it wasn't nearly as nice as the one before.

You can imagine how this ends up.

**A/N: Really now, until The Big Bang, Rory was a wuss.**

"She loves me more, Doctor. I'm her fiancé," Rory boasted. The Doctor scoffed.

"Yeah? And how many times has she tried to come onto you when she was engaged to another man?" the Doctor shot back. Obviously, Rory's answer was never, so he said nothing.

"Exactly," the Doctor said, satisfied.

**A/N: Yeah, the Doctor likes to win, even if he doesn't make sense.**

"This is all your fault," Rory huffed. The three of them (Rory, the Doctor, and Amy) were all locked up in separate prison cells.

"How is it my fault?" the Doctor asked, incredulous. Rory shot him a glare.

"You're the one that told us that it was perfectly normal on this planet to slap the chief as a sign of respect," Rory countered. The Doctor giggled.

"You're the one that was stupid enough to listen," the Doctor said.

**A/N: Gullible Rory… will you ever learn?**


	2. Chapter 2

It was a normal day, Rory helping the Doctor connect some thermocouplings. But the Doctor began getting agitated when Rory dropped one even though he'd specifically told him not to drop anything. From there they'd entered an argument; first it was based on the thermocouplings, but it quickly evolved into a generally male pissing contest.

"I kissed your fiancé," the Doctor bragged. Rory thought that was a cheap shot, but he went with it.

"I married her though," Rory shot back. He was rather proud of himself.

"Yeah? I kissed your daughter _and _married her." Rory's smirk vanished.

**AN: Rory will always lose arguments with the Doctor. It's inevitable.**

Amy and the Doctor ran, laughing, to the TARDIS. Once they'd reached the big blue box and raced inside, they slammed the doors behind them. The Doctor hurried to the console, dematerializing his ship. It was another one of those days- the ones filled with the routine of visiting another planet, getting into trouble, and running.

"That guy really didn't like you," Amy said, out of breath.

"Happens a lot," the Doctor said with a light shrug. It was true. Many planets even had laws made specifically for him. Torchwood was created to stop him. He could be quite unpopular sometimes, but always for doing something spectacular.

"Well, you did argue that he'd built his empire backwards," Amy pointed out. The Doctor let out a sigh.

"Oi, it's true! Saw the plans myself, like I told Rory," the Doctor replied. He then paused for a moment, scrunching his nose up. "Er, where _is_ the Nose?" In that moment the Doctor met Amy's eyes and both of them groaned.

"You're telling me we just left my husband on an alien planet with a pissed off emperor that wants to kill us." It was a bad day for Rory.

**A/N: Ah, what a shame. Nothing else needs to be said.**

"Even the Silence made fun of you dying a lot," the Doctor pointed out. Rory scoffed.

"Bite me," Rory replied with sarcasm. The Doctor leaned forward and bit Rory's arm- hard.

"Ah! What the-!" Rory exclaimed, cut off by another exclamation of pain. Amy looked on sympathetically.

"He had space teeth, I'm telling you," Amy said.

**A/N: I heard someone say this and thought of the episode where the Doctor bites Amy's hand. And thought he should bite Rory.**

Rory had walked into the chamber below Stonehenge only to realize that his fiancé forgot him completely. He was in shock.

"She doesn't even remember me!" Rory exclaimed.

"Oh, shut up!" the Doctor replied, throwing the ring box to the other man, intending to give him a chance to regain Amy. Instead, however, the box nailed the Roman in the head, causing him to fall to the ground with a dull thud. The Doctor was focused on the box, not on the fallen Roman.

"Go get her… oh. Sorry," the Time Lord apologized half-heartedly when he noticed Rory had collapsed, unconscious.

**A/N: Because this could have happened. What if moments run through my head a lot.**

Amy had gotten hurt on their latest adventure, falling over in the rocky terrain and spraining her ankle along with receiving several cuts along her foot and leg. Rory rushed forward to help her.

"Trust me, I'm a nurse," Rory attempted to console her. Amy groaned in pain. The Doctor then pushed Rory out of his way and approached Amy.

"Trust me, I'm the Doctor," the Time Lord said.

**A/N: Doctors beat nurses. Period.**

Sometimes, Amy wondered if they secretly channeled the spirits of preteen girls with how much they fought, always taking low shots at each other. And the way they would get so catty, so vicious, over seemingly nothing.

"Last Centurion."

"Last of the Time Lords."

"I waited 2000 years for Amy."

"She waited her whole life for me."

"You've almost gotten her killed."

"Okay, you actually killed her."

**A/N: Why do I like beating up Rory so much? Because it's just too much fun! **


End file.
